What makes someone a hypno-fetishist?

A question was asked recently on a comment on Lex and Liz's Blog, Dan(I've just discovered your blog as a result of this comment) asked: "I do wonder why more people don't do this sort of hypnosis. It is rather fun."

It's a good question. Why is hypnosis fetishism, or just hypnosis in sex, relationships, etc. such a niche interest, enjoyed by such a small minority of people?

As Dan rightly says, it certainly is fun! It also has the benefit of being something that can be enjoyed by anyone, in the comfort of their own home, and completely for free!

Hypnosis isn't exactly an unknown thing. It's been on tv in various forms for years, from the 90's stage shows of Paul Mckenna, to today's king of mind control Derren Brown. It's also well known in it's context of hypnotherapy. So if people know about hypnosis, and know what it can do, why don't more people think of it's other (more fun) potential applications?

The image of the evil hypnotist, or the hypnotic seductress has appeared in countless films and works of fiction for decades, and probably centuries. Even in (or perhaps particularly in) childrens films and programs... I'm sure you'll all be familiar with Kaa from the jungle book. So even from an early age the ideas are planted in people's minds... yet only a small number of people ever decide to try it for themselves...

So perhaps that leads to another question... "What makes someone a hypno-fetishist?...

What makes one person become interested in erotic hypnosis, when others aren't?. What is it that makes me (and if you are reading this, probably you as well) different from everyone else?

My theory is that the idea of possessing a 'special ability' that allows you to have advantages, or in fact power over other people, tends to appeal most to those people who feel like they are to some extent an outsider in society... perhaps on the lower rungs of the social ladder... they see hypnosis as a way of getting the things that they otherwise cannot. To look at it another way, if they could get these things in other ways, they probably wouldn't have ever thought of using hypnosis.

An analogy would be to compare hypno-fetishism to the appeal comic books about super heroes and villains, or fantasy stories and RPGs about magic and sorcery and epic battles, have with the geekier fringes of society. I must point out I say this as a massive geek myself, to quote family guy "that's our word! only we get to call ourselves that! not you!". The appeal is based around wanting a way of escaping your hum drum existence and be somebody, someone special, to rise up to the top that social ladder, perhaps to get above those you feel have previously enjoyed advantages over you, or kept you down.

Erotic Hypnosis, or some form hypnotic seduction, I think probably would appeal to those people who struggle with sex and relationships for one reason or another. It may be something that a larger number of people will think about, but for a lot of those, who might be happier with their love lives, the thoughts will just be in passing, and not something that they will actually do something about. It takes quite a strong desire to actively dedicate time and effort into finding, and studying the information required to act on that fantasy.

In my case I've suffered since my early teens with crippling shyness and anxiety, which meant I found it extremely difficult to find relationships. Coupled with the fact I wasn't much of a looker when I was young, and didn't start to blossom until my early 20s. There was also my confused sexuality. All this lead to me being very awkward around people in general, and even more so around those I was attracted to.

These factors eventually lead me to fantasizing about being able to hypnotize people and get those things that I'd been missing out on... for me, it was sex, pure and simple. I was a hormonal, frustrated teenager, who'd never been in love, never even kissed a girl, and felt like with my looks and awkward social skills, I probably never would. So my desire was indeed strong. I wanted to be able to snap my fingers like Paul mckenna, and have women swooning infront of me and be under my spell.

So when I got access to the internet (it was pretty new at the time) one of the first things I looked up was hypnosis. I wont go over it all again, but to read about my early ventures into hypnosis, check out this old blog entry. I suspect my story might chime some bells with others reading this too.

You only have to look at how (extortionately priced) hypnosis courses are marketed on the internet. There are countless sites selling products marketed as turning 'unconfident losers' into ultra confident pick up artists, using 'power words' and 'top secret language patturns' to hypnotically seduce their quarry. There are also similarly marketed courses designed for sales men to 'seduce' customers and 'turn words into cash!'... all directly marketed at those who feel like failures on the fringes of society. And of course the extortionate price is justified because of the 'powerful knowledge' that they contain, only adding to it's mystique and image as elite secret knowledge.

The truth is, should they have the inclination, anybody can find vast amounts of information about hypnosis online for free. Yes there are products out there (Anthony Jaqcuin's book is particularly good.) that are worth paying for, but they aren't and needn't be so expensive and elitist. The knowledge really is out there for anyone who wants it. But the image of elite, powerful, top secret knowledge, known only to a select few, is an alluring one. It feeds your desire to hold power over people, and gain advantages over the rest of the world.

So does the erotic hypnosis community want to stay in it's niche?... does it want to stay small and unknown? ...It's certainly easy to understand how having a 'power' that only a small number of people possess can be alluring, and how it's spread to a wider community might lessen it's appeal. Perhaps more people don't know about erotic hypnosis is because we as a community don't talk about it with the un-initiated. Of course I talk about it when I am wanting to introduce partners or potential partners to the idea... but have I ever spoken about it, or recommended it to someone else as something to try with people? I can't say I have. How would I feel if erotic hypnosis was more common in society, and more people practised it?... To be totally truthful, I probably wouldn't like it. Because just like the people who market these courses costing hundreds of dollars want me to, I like the idea that what I do is rare and that it in some way sets me above the rest of the world. And somewhat selfishly, I'd prefer it to stay that way. Am I alone in this? I suspect not.

There is also of course the more innocent reason of being afraid of talking about your fetish to those that don't know about it, for fear of being thought a weirdo or a pervert, and if you are an unconfident person to begin with, or someone that is used to rejection, that fear will be all the more real. So the reluctance to talk about it will be strong.

This is of course, mostly from the point of view of the hypnotist. The appeal of hypnosis to a subject will of course be different. I am unable to speak from direct experience here, but I suspect that for most, hypnosis is not so much a fetish in it's own right (though it could be for some I am sure), as an extension of a pre existing kink for submission. As a subject, you don't have to actively research or learn anything (though it could be said that going into a deep trance is something that you learn), what you need is a partner who possesses such skills themselves and the desire to use them in the way you want, something that is altogether more difficult to find. Also, I have a suspicion that if hypnosis was more commonly practised by people, to the point where most people dabbled in it, it's appeal to the submissive would be lessened. Just like it is for the hypnotist, I think the image of hypnosis as a mysterious and powerful thing only adds to it's allure for the submissive, and adds to the attraction of the hypnotist.

I wont focus too much on the submissive side of the equation, as I suspect as someone on the other side of the watch, I wouldn't really do it justice. I think though that it is in the nature of dominant and submissive roles, that the dominant is the one that would most likely initiate D/s activities in a relationship, and as such, outside of the enclosed communities found on the net, it is the hypnotist that would have to take the step of introducing new people to their kink. A step that as I outlined above, is one that most will for whatever reason be reluctant to take, much more so than with more common kinks.

It is therefore mostly down to individuals to seek out and discover the fetish on their own. But also as I describe above, the nature of hypnosis fetishism, is that it will only be a small minority of freaks, geeks, and misfits that will have a strong enough desire to actively do so.

So all things considered, it's unsurprising that the hypno-fetish community is so small, it's in it's very nature to be that way. Access to the internet has no doubt led to a greater number of people discovering it, but I can't see hypno-fetishism as we know it expanding beyond the dark corners of society any time soon.

~ Mistress Winters ~